.kiko kiki lala.

Note: I wrote this a year ago, that time when we were not yet together.   I don't care if you have moved already or what. I don't care anymore.  Because after you, there were never someone else. Just somebody who passes by. So, here I am. I'm waiting. In this pavement of pedestrians street. And this time, I won't talk to passer-by,  I won't go and have a coffee with strangers, I won't say hi to familiar faces, I just wait for you to come and fetch me. If it takes years, then to the hell I wait. I sit here while sipping on a cup of cappuccino, while reading a wonderfully good book. Until you come. Until you come. Oh yes, until you come.   ps: Now that our path cross once again, and though I don't know what's there in the future, I do hope this thing that we have for each other, yes, this beautiful indescibable feeling we have, I hope it last for eternity .

"I do not understand why you would go out of your way to hurt each other, when life can already hurt so much " - I wrote this for you How can I make you see that there's nothing you can gain from having too much hate in your life, dear? I pity you for seeing the worst in everyone and everthing. Haven't it occured to you how exhausting it was? Please let it go. Let it all go. Life's a beauty you'll never see if you let your eyes obscured with negativity. This is the time to be happy & content. I shall wait for you across the road, where everything is pretty and colourful despite all the chaosity, absurdity & malarkey.  Good day, earthlings!

My life has been in turbulent period all this while.  Tak salah rasanya jika aku katakan 3 minggu selepas mid-semester break ini adalah yang paling neraka buat aku sepanjang hidup di UIA. Neraka dunia je lah, pastilah tak sedahsyat neraka yang hakiki. Apa pun disebalik kenerakaan itu, ada indahnya juga. Banyak indahnya, jika difikir semula.  Dan aku rasa, selama 3 minggu ni, aku ada sedikit masalah untuk menulis. lagi lagi dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Masalah ni, macam mana gue ingin menyiapkan assignment jika haramm jadah English dah berterabur? dan haram jadah assignment aku ni terusik, memang dah lama bertangguh pon *muka panik*. Dah lama tak membaca mungkin (?). Takpe kita kasi settle minggu ni jugak. Haaa, kerja dah makin surut ni, bolehla aku mula baca buku secara tegar semula.  Baidewei, aku tengah baca buku Mautopia sekarang, karya Ridhwan Saidi. Untuk penulis Malaysia, aku sangat respek sama lu sebab berani tulis dalam genre Distopik. Tak kisah la menjadi ke tak, tapi percubaan

aku berada di satu tahap yang mana semuanya aku rasa penat. aku mahu rehat. aku perlukannya sangat sangat.  aku penat, tolong hentikan semua ini buat sementara.  tolong, aku merayu, tolong. assignment, exam, presentation, training.  bila lah semester ni nak berakhir. ini semester yang paling neraka pernah aku alami.

aku sakit buat orang sakit percayalah, aku sakit aku sangat sakit kalau aku boleh ambil semua kesakitan aku ambil biar aku sakit sendiri! biar!  aku boleh aku sanggup tanggung sendiri aku tak mahu orang lain sakit sebab aku aku lebih sakit lihat orang sakit tolong jangan sakit sebab aku tolong jangan sakit sebab aku tolong jangan sakit sebab aku, please aku tahu ada ubatnya nanti, carilah disana tiada ubatnya pada aku disini

if my heart can be cut into pieces i give it one to you