.pesanan penaja. ;)

Sep 20, 2015

097: I am a grown person but I have yet to figure it out.

There's an almost distant feeling when you grow up, or realise that you are a grown person. 

Past seems like a memory you wish will never fade so that you can cling to it. Tug it close to your chest like hugging a precious teddy bear of your childhood. A warmth comfort but lifeless still.

I wish I can let go of it, say that I won't need it any more. Too much I heard them saying that we should never look at our past, life moves on. Yet life as a grown person can be melancholy and poignant, sometimes. If not most of the times. Therefore the only way to bring the colours to the film is by bringing the memories that are colourful - the memory of past. Of childhood, of growing up, of adolescent, of youth. 

Of innocent, of naivety, of ignorance, of not knowing yet.

The irony is that as you grow up, you realise you are still in the state of now knowing yet maybe for forever. However, they expect you to know or at least, to act like you know. But really, who in this world knows and have it all figure out? Is there such person?

Well, I guess clearly for this case, we all already figure out the answer.
♥ anda suka? sila tekan ini sini.
Apr 5, 2015

096: Embracing mess.

Well, hello there. It's been a while. It feels like meeting an old friend.

I should penned this somewhere. Somewhere that I might come across someday.

I tend to forget things. My mind is a mess, cluttered with unnecessary thoughts. I don't know what went wrong really but it's becoming a mess now. There are two basis for this circumstances. Number one: That's what happen to everyone when you grow up; you're mind becomes so cluttered you don't even know where to begin with. Or number two: I tend to bottled things up instead of writing it down. I don't know how to keep reminding myself again and again or even to find the time to do it but I really think writing things down helps. Even more so, I think it's becoming more important now that I've grown up and have much to say but kept it all in my mind. 

Oh, by the way, hello adulthood! I am now a working adult. Graduated and about to leave my mark on this work (yeah, right). I must say that working life is hell if you stuck in a job you hate. In the midst of not writing about any updates or whatsoever about my life, I'd done a part time job during my last year of undergrad, graduated, get a permanent job while keeping up my part time job, get married (HELL YEAH!) & quit my first full time job because I hate it and get a new job (which is an NGO! Wohooo! Jump off the cliff due to excitement!!).

I really wish I could write it all down in slower pace, with more details and stuff so that my future generation could read it later but now, it seems a bit too overwhelming to write up posts on everything that's happening. Anyhow, I promise myself to keep writing. I want to get back to writing things down on a diary, on this blog or anywhere. In fact, I will start a new blog soon (I have been thinking about it for few years now). A less personal blog where I can discuss more on serious matter - my thoughts on issue I considered important, review on books, inspirations and more. I'm also thinking of a blog where I can write about Islam or at least what I think of the beauty of my religion is. But that's probably will not happen in near future (but I will keep it in my mind). 

If I were to become a writer cum activist who inspire and empower people (HAHA, yeah right), I need to start doing something now. That is to start writing seriously in a medium where I can reach the masses and to work on a non-profit organisation so that I can gain as many experience and contacts before working on my own cause. 

Yet from now on, I will keep this blog posted (And the other blog when I finalised all my thoughts and ideas). As you can see now, I've been jumping from one topic to another in just a matter of paragraphs *sighs*. Well, never mind. I don't want to re-write. 

p/s: I guess this is my first post for 2015 (wow! see how dusty this blog is?), so....HELLO 2015! I'm about  passed a quarter of the year. Looking forward for the next quarter!

♥ anda suka? sila tekan ini sini.
Sep 21, 2014

095: Seperti dia

Kalaulah dia melihat bintang
pada mataku
seperti mana aku lihat 
ia bersinar-sinar di bola matanya

Kalaulah dia merasa getar
seperti aku
tatkala dia tersenyum menyapa

Kalaulah tawaku
bisa membuat hatinya segar
seperti mana senyum tawanya
meruntun hati kecilku

Kalaulah aku dilihatnya 
Seperti dia yang kulihat sempurna
di balik segala
ketidak sempurnaannya

Kalaulah aku..
Kalaulah aku...


♥ anda suka? sila tekan ini sini.
Aug 23, 2014

094: Buat sekian kalinya.

Aku rindu.
Pada lantang suara kau.

Aku rindu.
Pada gelak tawa kau.

Aku rindu.
Pada gurau senda kau.

Aku rindu.
Buat sekian kalinya.
Dan rindu ini buat selamanya.

Moga kau aman disana.
Nantikan aku.
Aku akan kembali.
Bila tiba masanya nanti.

♥ anda suka? sila tekan ini sini.
Jul 1, 2014

093: Perkara-perkara asyik


dan juga dia.
dengan huruf d kecil.
aku jumpa dia.
atas belas Dia.
dengan huruf D besar.

♥ anda suka? sila tekan ini sini.

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